I have friends with all sorts of personalities — quirky, loud, reserved, soft-spoken — but the ones I always end up observing with silent envy are my most charismatic pals. I’m intrigued by the gift of charisma, the way some people can walk right up to a stranger and turn on the magic. Have you ever wanted to become more charismatic? I certainly do!
Recently, I’ve been getting into podcasts and stumbled upon one with Jordan Harbinger, co-founder of The Art of Charm, an academy that aims to help people become more charismatic and confident. The podcast, hosted by Pat Flynn, had some worthy tips, so like any good blogger, I decided to share them with you here. Being charismatic will help you build strong relationships, better businesses, and extensive networks. Here’s how to do it.
Smile and stand up straight when you walk in a room.
Jordan described a scenario that most of us have probably been in at some point. You walk in a room and there’s someone you’d like to meet, from a cute guy at a party to a leader you look up to in your line of work. What we tend to do is awkwardly linger around these people, waiting for a lull in their current conversations so that we can make our seemingly natural entrance and introduce ourselves. But we’ve got it all wrong. Their impression of you doesn’t start when you two meet. It started 20 minutes ago when you walked in the room. Whether we realize it or not, people are taking note of your actions, even when you’re not in direct contact. The best solution? Look approachable. Smile. Stand up straight. People’s first impressions of you begin long before you meet them.
Leave people better than you found them.
I loved this tip from the podcast. I mean, isn’t this what being charismatic is all about? Jordan suggests striking up conversations even when you feel nervous to do so. Speak up, be joyful, ask that girl you see in the break room every morning how she’s doing. It will take a bit of getting used to, but the sense of community and trust you build with others will be so strong that people will perk up whenever you’re around. In fact, Jordan says, “If you continue to build that as a habit, if you’re smiling at the barista where you get your coffee, talking to your neighbors in the elevator even though you don’t feel like it, [then] when you have an off day, those people are going to start to reflect that stuff back to you and they’re going to bring you right out of your rut.” Who wouldn’t want that?
Do you feel uncomfortable at the thought of chatting it up with your Starbucks barista? Follow Jordan’s “three-second rule,” which is, don’t give yourself enough time to even think about being scared. 1-2-3. Just do it.
(Related: 15 Ways to Be a Good Human Today)
Use body language.
This is simple, but so important. It completes your charisma-packed package. If you’re smiling and being interested in people, yet you’re standing there stiff as a board, it sends a mixed signal. It’s like you’re engaged, but not all there. BE ALL THERE, BABY! Use hand gestures. Express yourself with your body language. One of my favorite professors from college would always lean in candidly while we were talking and gently touch my arm. Her light touch always made me feel more connected to our conversation. It made me feel important.
So there you have it. A few small tweaks to help you become more charismatic and confident!
