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4 Things To Consider When You Feel Like Giving Up

Melyssa Griffin

4 min

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4 Things To Consider When You Feel Like Giving Up | Trying to thrive as a business owner isn't always easy, especially when you're still getting your footing. These 4 inspirational tips will help entrepreneurs who feel like throwing in the towel. Click through for the full post.

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There was a time when, for some reason, you decided to take a big leap. You bought a domain, you designed a logo, or perhaps you even quit your job. It was an exciting time, scary too and a bit risky, but you were able to persist because the primary voice in your mind was one that was saying, “Wait a second…I think I can do this.”

If you’ve ever taken the initiative to start something new – a business, a blog, a book, an organization – perhaps this all sounds familiar to you. Every creative adventure seems to start out similarly. There is a sense of determined optimism that guides you. You work late, you gather ideas constantly, and you invest time, money, and energy into this thing you really care about.

But over time, that “I can do this” voice in your mind becomes harder and harder to hear. It’s not that it ever goes away, but rather, it gets drowned out by other louder voices, ones that ask, “Is this really what I want?” or “Is it too late to get my old job back?” or “ Why am I even doing this?”

And let’s be honest here: it’s at this point that a lot of people choose to give up. They trade in their ambitions for something safer, or more likely, they just gradually slow down their efforts until there is nothing left to develop. And you know what? That’s honestly not the worst thing in the world. There is no shame in modifying your aspirations for the sake of, you know, reality. Actually, that’s pretty healthy.

But if you’re experiencing this sort of doubt right now, then dream with me for a minute: maybe, just maybe, you are meant to be doing exactly what it is you are doing. Maybe you are on the cusp of something fantastic. Maybe if you can just hold on a bit longer, you will start to see some real results from all of your efforts. Maybe.

But who can be sure? The hard truth is that there is no way to know for certain that success or failure is around the corner. It feels more like a leap of faith than an exact science. That being said, if you find yourself questioning whether or not you should quit, then here are a few things you might want to consider before throwing in the towel:

1. You started for a reason

All you can see right now are the plans that aren’t working out or the bills that need to be paid or the schedule that just seems totally unsustainable. But think back to simpler times, allllll the way back to the beginning. What was it that made you start this crazy adventure? Were you in a job you hated? Were you encouraged by friends and family to utilize your talents more? Were you attracted to the reality of this new endeavor or simply the idea of it? For better or for worse, tap into the specific reasons of why you wanted to make a change. If those reasons still apply to you, if you still feel connected to your original purpose, then quitting might not be for you.

2. You are not the only one

Starting your own business or pursuing a creative career is a pretty insane thing to do. Like, I’d say you have to be half-crazy to even attempt it because no matter what, it’s definitely not going to be the safest option. At least not at first. When doubt arises, that’s basically when your sanity starts to kick in. In those moments, you begin finding the idea of building your own path a lot less charming and actually way more terrifying. But these moments of self-doubt are not just reserved for the weak or the untalented. Everyone goes through them. Everyone. You might be tempted to believe that your lack of confidence signals a lack of ability, but that’s just not the case. Every single wildly talented person you have ever admired has been through this. They’ve just been crazy enough to keep going.

Related: Why Freelancing actually has more job security than a 9-5

3. Fear is a liar

There are actually plenty of good reasons to give up – a lack of finances, fading interest, a change of circumstances – but fear just isn’t one of them. That’s because, for the most part, fear lies. Fear paints a picture in your mind that isn’t real. It shows you all of the negatives, none of the positives, as well as a lot of unrealistic eventualities that might never come to be. If fear is your only motivator right now, you might not have the best grasp on your situation, so find a way to reframe your thoughts. For example, when I’m feeling particularly fearful, I like to talk to someone I trust who can help me sort out what’s real and what isn’t.

Related: How to make a big, terrifying decision

4. You might need some help

One of the reasons you may feel like giving up right now is because it’s all starting to become too much. There is so much to do, you aren’t sleeping, and you haven’t seen your friends and family in weeks. If that’s the case, my question for you is this: is anyone helping you right now? Because, by the way, that’s totally allowed. So often we try to handle everything on our own because we assume that’s what we’re supposed to do, but it usually leads to quicker burnout.

If you need someone to help you design your website, enlist a designer. If you need someone to consult you, look into a business coach. Plus, there are plenty of ways to receive help free of charge. Join a local community of creatives, attend a meetup, hop on a Twitter chat – whatever you can do to feel less alone, do it. Perhaps with some support, giving up will seem like a far less attractive option.

Related: 8 Steps for hosting a creative meetup

What do you do when you feel like throwing in the towel?

  1. Oh this post is exactly what I need! Thank you so much for this.

    Katrina Sophia

  2. Great reminders – especially the one about seeking help and being a part of a community. Joining FB groups has been the best thing for me.

  3. Jodie says:

    This is such a fantastic post and came at the perfect time for me, so thank you! I keep seeing a quote along the lines of success is about to happen when you feel like giving up, and I think it’s a great little line to keep in mind (if only I could remember the exact quote!). Thanks for another inspiring post x

    Jodie
    alajode.com

  4. the welshbird says:

    I’ve not been blogging long but I’m starting to learn what my weaknesses are. Whilst I still love my idea, staying committed when you’re still building an audience is the hardest part.

  5. Thank you for this, Christy! I completely agree that fear is a LIAR– it assumes the worst and the more you indulge your fears, the more power they have.

  6. Sometimes people feel lazy and they want to give up! I think most of us aren’t as successful as we could be all because of lazines. I have had the temptation of giving up several times, some of those I did, and the others I decided to continue, and let me tell you, not giving up and seeing how everything ends up being okay is such a great feeling !!

    xx Cecil // http://www.wednesday19th.blogspot.com

  7. I love the optimism in this post! It also came at a great time for me, going through so many changes right now. It’s hard and there times I’m questioning myself but I know I have to keep going, remember why I made these changes in the first place.

  8. Dija Henry says:

    This post came right on time for me! Thanks for writing it and encouraging us! When I begin to feel this way sometimes it’s just because I need a break. By taking a break I can rest my mind and do those things you talked about in the list. Sometimes it’s helpful just to step back and take a breath to remind yourself of what your missing.

  9. Fear can be so hard to beat! I’ve been trapped by fear before and I’ve found that I just have to push through without thinking about it too hard. If I let fear get to me, I’ll never get any of my big ideas out there.

  10. This is such a great, encouraging post! I like to think of fear as a reminder that you care – you’re scared of failing because you care so much and want to do well!

  11. This was just what I needed today. I’ve been feeling discouraged that I’ve been working hard on my blog and not getting any comments yet and I think I just needed this reminder to focus on why I’m blogging, what I love about it, and the need for patience. Thanks for sharing this encouragement!

  12. Shay says:

    It’s not just about fear. Boredom is a huge factor when people give up. “I have to keep doing X forever because I can get Y? Screw this.” Like, for example, college work. There’s so many little assignments and readings that snowball if you get behind and you don’t even know what your actual grades will be until the very end. Some of the work is boring, just like everything else in life. It’s easy to get demoralized and fed up because you don’t feel like you are actually doing anything. So, I think it’s important to realize that any improvement (in how long it takes you to do something, how much easier it feels for you, and how much you do it) is progress even if it feels like you’re just spinning your wheels. Crossing off lists also helps.

  13. Amen to all that, Christy!!! ♥

  14. Kat says:

    Needed to read this, blogging can be quite isolating in some ways but it’s nice to be reminded I’m not the only one with doubts and set-backs and that everyone goes through it at some stage. Thanks for the inspiration!

    Kat | Peachy Pink Gloss

  15. jamie rose design says:

    What great timing – I so needed this today! Thank you for writing this, and for the encouragement to just keep on keepin’ on 🙂

  16. Sofi says:

    “Fear is a liar”- I need that on a t-shirt. Or on a giant poster above my desk. This post is going in my “can’t write a word today” inspiration folder, thanks Christy 🙂

  17. Dominique Clarke says:

    I appreciate the effort you put into your blog, but it is not completely accurate. Believe it or not, there are people that don’t have any friends or family, then there are people that are not working and want to start there own business and quitting is putting it lightly.

    Maybe you don’t want to touch on the subject and you want to keep it light, but the only reason I clicked on you page was because sometimes I feel like quitting, but giving up completely. It’s very difficult and lonely when you are on your own. I try to reach out and I find, people are more interested in their own goals or only want to help if they see some financial gain.

    You are right when you say don’t do it alone. I have written to so many people asking for their advice on my website and product, but no one gives you the time of day. It feels demoralising, when all you want is someone to say, it’s cool or I like your designs, but you should try this, people don’t say anything. I’m constantly talking to a brick wall. So doing it alone is sometimes the only choice we have, and sometimes that’s just too much.

    Fear is not an issue for me. I’m not scared, I just want feedback. People are too busy trying to read in between the lines when there are no line to be read.

    Sorry rant over, I’m just fed up. I feel like screaming at somebody to just talk to me, but I won’t of course.

    Thanks for this post.

    • Hi Dominique! Thanks for sharing your perspective here. I completely understand where you’re coming from and know that it’s not an easy place to be. But believe it or not, where you are right now? That’s exactly where most of us start when we’re trying to build something like a blog, product, or business. Alone. The people you may be emailing for advice or feedback probably started in a similar position as you’re in right now. So, while your situation absolutely stinks (I know, I’ve been there!), it’s something that many of us go through. You’re not alone there.

      In terms of asking people for advice and feedback — are the people you go to people you have a relationship with? Are they people you know personally or have communicated with back and forth for a period of time? I ask because, well, people are busy. Depending on who you’re emailing, they may get a ton of emails just like yours each day. I’m not saying that they should completely ignore you, but I think it’s important to consider the other side of the story — theirs. If you want to get solid feedback from people, I would urge you to build mutual relationships with them where *you* give feedback, support, and care just as much as you ask for it. Perhaps you already do this. If so, that’s awesome! Keep going.

      I know it’s tough, Dominique. I’ve been there, trust me! But the more time we invest into building relationships before expecting anything in return is more time spent pushing ourselves in the right direction. I know you’re on the right track. And I’m here, cheering you on from the sidelines.

      • Dominique Clarke says:

        Greetings Mel,

        Thank you for getting back to me, and I agree with a lot of what you are saying. Yes we are in the same boat in being alone when we start a new venture, I couldn’t agree more, but not to get into ‘my situation is worse scenario’ but to be honest, I could probably handle it better if I knew there was someone out there for me. Maybe you have a mother or father or both, and other family members, so you are not completely alone. I do not have any of that, no exaggeration and no pity story, just saying, so I’m not sure you could even comprehend what that feels like. It really is not the same. It’s not just about being alone in my venture, it’s about being alone all together, sometime it creeps up on me and I go down a dark road, which can be dangerous when you suffer from depression. Starting a business is one of the best and worst things I have ever done, but I won’t give up, because aside all of that, I love what I do.

        You said about giving to people equally, that’s part of the problem, I give so much to people and my time, it is never reciprocated, I don’t give to receive and I know people are busy, I am too, I’m up at 4-5am and I finish work about 10pm, I work on weekends too but I always make time for people, the key word here is ‘make time’, so when someone can’t spare me 5 minutes, it shows me where their priorities lay with people. I wrote to a few people who are generally busy people, one of them got back to me and said she would respond when she had some time, added me to Facebook and spent a considerable amount of time posting on FB to her friends and colleagues about her dinner arrangements, bla bla bla, which actually made me laugh, here’s me thinking she’s soooo busy, anyway that’s fine, my eyes are wide open. Least she added me, that’s a plus… I think? She’ a great women, so I won’t delete her.

        Mel we live in a selfish world, it’s difficult to find a balance in business, because sometimes people only want to help if there is financial gain in it for them, that’s just how it is.The sooner people wise up to this, the better.

        Anyway, thank you so much for your advice, your are very kind to respond, and I got a lot of constructive advice from you. I am feeling much better now. I really needed this. I’m not always down, but it creeps in every now again when people are non responsive and so forth, it always gets me down, I shouldn’t let it, but that’s easier said than done. I had a good 4 hour chat online with a really cool guy from the 7 cups of Tea site, had such a blast and I will be talking to him again on Sunday, so finally I found someone to chat with at least! Happy Days.

        Thank you again Mel, and I wish you and everyone on this page the very best in your ventures, you have a good heart Mel, don’t ever lose yourself in business and forget who you are. You’re a diamond.

        All the best

        Dominique ; )

        • Oh Dominique, I appreciate this response more than you could know! I’ve had my own bouts with depression and my family is disconnected and not very close, so I know how difficult it can be in those respects, to feel alone and unsupported. I support you so much in what you are doing, especially in doing it by yourself. You are fighting the good fight, Dominique. 🙂

          I’m not sure where you live, but have you heard of the site Meetup.com? It’s basically a site where people can create “meetup groups” based on different interests. Then, the leader will plan events or just casual meetings for all the group members to chat and hang out. I’ve been apart of several meetup groups, even one when I lived in Japan! It’s a big organization. But the great thing is that those groups connect people together — especially strangers who might be feeling a little alone themselves. I want to encourage you to check out the website. I actually started a (now inactive) meetup group almost two years ago, and one of the girls I met through it is still one of my close friends. You never know who you’ll meet, but it’s amazing to have the opportunity to meet new people who like things you like. Perhaps you could find some sort of business-oriented group (there are tons of groups already created that you can join!), which will set you off in an even better direction.

          I appreciate you, Dominique. You are headed in the right direction. <3

          • Dominique Clarke says:

            Mel, I think we need a room haha! Thank you so much. This has made my morning, it truly has. People like you will go far in life and you really do deserve all the wonderful things coming your way. You are what we call ‘Good People’ and I really appreciate you too, you have a beautiful soul. I am actually London born, from Caribbean parentage, aka – black, obviously. (not that it matters), just so you know, and the reason I don’t have a profile picture is I just like to keep FB private, I only have this account so I could set up a business page (which is pretty empty but it’s coming) and connect with people on forums and such. I’m glad, well not glad, but it’s refreshing to know that you have suffered similar experiences as me, so you know how it feels. I’m not alone.

            It’s really cool that you lived in Japan. Japanese people are one of my favourite on the planet, their so gifted, lovely and calm. I met an awesome couple from Japan in my Uni days, you’ve reminded me that I need to get back in contact with them again.

            So yes I’m from the UK and for sure, I have heard of ‘meet up’. I actually found out about it from watching something on Youtube. I had noticed that it was set up and founded by an American and it led me to wonder if there was a British version, and there was, so I joined! I have only been to one meeting so far and met the wonderful Andrea Vahl from the states, (not bad for my first meet up) she is the queen of Social Marketing and even wrote a best selling book on it, you’ve probably heard of her. She came to England and had a conference in Manchester, then to a smaller intimate gathering in London, Victoria. I’m really glad I got to meet her, and she also gave me some invaluable info. If anyone on here needs help in that department, she is brilliant, look her up!

            So I think I’m going to go back to the drawing board and do some meet ups on a personal level. I’d like to meet people that are going through similar issues as me, other than business. It’s good to get yourself in order, so you can deal with situations better, right? Don’t worry I’m a fighter, like you say. I know I have a purpose in life, just got to get there ; )

            Thanks Mel, glad we are on the same page. I’ll swing by your FB one day and say hi, just to let you know I got you!

            Thank you <3

  18. Maryanne Theodore says:

    Saying “I quit” or “I give up” or probably “Never again” is as easy as coming down a staircase rather than going up, you can decide to even roll over. There are times when I feel this way too – when I work so hard but there is little or nothing to show for it. Here are the things I do when I feel this way
    http://www.maryannetheodore.com.ng/2017/01/what-i-do-when-i-feel-like-giving-up.html

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