In case you’re a new reader, you may not know that I lived in Japan for about two years, from 2011 to the end of 2013. Living in Japan was undoubtedly one of the most unique and formative experiences of my life. Now, eight months later, I think I’m only just beginning to scratch the surface on how my two-year field trip affected my life and personality.
Though living in another country was, at times, difficult, the more time I spend away from Japan, the more I realize how it positively changed who I am. Today, I want to share five ways Japanese culture changed me as a person.
1. I’m more generous.
Once, while traveling in Japan, I was having a difficult time locating an overnight bus I was scheduled to take. If I’d missed the bus, I would’ve missed work the next day, which is hugely frowned upon in Japan. I used my limited Japanese at the time to ask people how to get to the bus stop, but no one could explain the directions in a way I could understand. Eventually, I found a train conductor who’d just finished work — he had a briefcase in hand and appeared to be on his way home. I rushed up to him in a near-panic, asking if he could point me in the right direction. Instead of pointing, he led…all the way to my bus stop, at least a mile away. He didn’t complain or say a word and brushed off my thank you’s as if he did this all the time.
That experience is something I don’t think I’ll ever forget. I pull it out when I need to remind myself to be more generous and willing to go out of my way to help other people. Things that may take ten minutes of my time and a blink of inconvenience could completely turn someone’s day around.
2. I’m more conscious of what is actually healthy.
Before living in Japan, I was convinced that pouring salt on my veggies and adding broccoli to a bowl of mac and cheese was in some way, still “healthy.” Now, I cringe at much of the “healthy” food I see in The States. In Japan, people traditionally eat a variety of unseasoned vegetables with lightly seasoned fish, white rice, and miso soup. It might sound bland, but it’s actually very good! Now, I’m realizing that adding some vegetables and chicken breast to a bowl of cheese and sauce doesn’t make it better for your body. This isn’t to say I eat as healthy as a traditional Japanese person, but I’m a lot more conscious of what I put in my body — good and bad.
3. I’m a better gift-giver.
Gift-giving is an arguably important part of Japanese culture. One aspect is called “omiyage,” which translates to “souvenirs.” For Japanese people, it is expected that if you go on a trip, you bring back a small souvenir (usually a little snack) for each person in your office. People usually bring back gifts for close friends or family, too. The idea relates to Japan’s group mentality, essentially saying, “I was thinking about you, even while I was away.” It’s kind of beautiful, isn’t it? Now, I carry this tradition a little more heavily than before I lived abroad, using small, thoughtful gifts to remind people that they are with me, even when they’re not.
4. I’m more punctual.
I come from a family of late people. I’ve grown up with the expectation that being late is essentially the same thing as being on time. …Which is why it was a slap in the face when I discovered that, in Japan, if you’re not early, you’re already late. After more than two years of putting effort into punctuality, I’ve found the value in being on time or early to events.
5. I’m more comfortable in my own skin.
In Japan, what is “beautiful” often includes pale skin, rail-thin figures, and small facial features with big eyes. In the US, things are nearly opposite, with tan skin, curvaceous bodies, and full facial features reigning supreme. Living in two countries with different values about beauty reminded me how subjective this whole game of appearances is. Once you realize first-hand that beauty is biased, you start caring a whole lot less about fitting into any one person or country’s ideals.
Have you ever lived or traveled abroad? How did it positively affect your life?
p.s. Want to teach English abroad? Check out my full experience and tutorial!
p.p.s. Read about my life in Japan here.
This is so awesome! I loved how you explained the gift-giving culture in Japan. That’s such an great thing to learn and do! And it’s so good that you learned punctuality from being abroad. For me, it was the opposite in Spain, where a lot of people were late to things!
Thanks for sharing this post! I feel like I found out more about you!
I’m glad you liked this, Gina! 🙂 And how neat that you lived in Spain, I’ve always wanted to go there!
I love this! The last point rings especially true for me, having lived in China for 4 years. There, everyone was so envious of my very pale skin and my height, whereas here in Germany, it’s considered weird and not “normal”.. such a subjective thing for sure.
Thanks for sharing these 🙂
I totally know what you mean, Johanna! Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Hi Mel:
Loved this blog post. Japanese culture is one of my favorites, even though I started to learn from it from anime 😛 but as I grew up I started getting more into it. From them you learn to be more generous; I had de opportunity to be there for 2 weeks and everybody was very nice and generous to us, even when we only knew a ‘very’ basic Japanese, they always tried their best to understand us.
One time we went to a store looking for some items, a friend asked the owner if she had some tapes for the recorder and since she didn’t had what we were looking for, she gave to my friend kind of an “omiyage” as an apology for not having the item. At first we were confused, but then we understood; they’re very hardworking, generous, punctual, etc.
Since I was 12 one of my dream was to visit and study in Japan; I went on a small trip, but I feel like studying there will be difficult as I’m starting to forget all the japanese I learned some years ago and where I live it’s hard to be able to practice that language… maybe I should start practicing again on my own 😛
Sorry for the long comment and thanks for sharing this with us ♥.
I love that story you shared, Cori! That sounds very “Japanese.” I remember one of my American friends came to stay with me once while I was in Japan and my boyfriend at the time’s roommate felt such a need to give him a gift upon meeting him that he searched through his room and came back with one of his belongings. I think my friend was very confused, but I knew it was just part of being Japanese. 🙂
You should definitely go back and study there! 🙂 When I first moved to Japan, I didn’t know any Japanese and picked it up over the years. Since you have a background in it, I bet you’d catch on really quickly! 🙂
They’re very thoughtful and kind with their guests ♥
Oh! and a random story of that trip… We went to Asakusa and I was watching ‘uchiwas’ of the Jpop group Arashi, I was excited watching everything and a Japanese girl saw my happiness and then she tapped my shoulder showing me a big poster of my favorite member “Oh Chan!!♥” that’s all I said and the girl and I were laughing together, I always smile when I remember that moment.
And thanks! I’ve been searching for scholarships or some methods to be able to study there, hope to find something soon 😀
Lovely post – very heartfelt! It’s making me wish I could live in Japan to get to experience/discover those things!
Thanks Camila! Maybe one day you will. 😉
Aw, I loved these. Thank you so much for sharing! The first one is especially sweet. I think we all as a society love to complain about people that inconvenience us but man… that story is so inspiring! I can’t say the local people here are the same way (they actually seem to have less patience than Americans, haha).
I totally agree with the gift-giving story. I have been really embarrassed here a couple times showing up empty handed to events like birthday parties and the like. I mean, back home, my own best friend might buy me a drink on my birthday, and that’s about it! I want to become more of a gift-giver myself 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed this, Cynthia! And I appreciated your comparison with the culture where you’re living, too! How interesting! Where do you live, by the way?
Right now living in Czech Republic, where the customer service model is…… not the same as the rest of Western Europe (I’ve been told it’s sort of a hold-over from the Communist years) For example, when you go out to eat, a lot of the time you feel like you’re inconveniencing the wait-staff which, in my opinion, is a liiiittle silly.
i didnt know the Japanese were big on punctuality. its good to know that
They really are! 🙂
I really love this post! Its true living in a different culture can change you, whether its for the better or for the worse. I’m worried after living in Paraguay I’m going to be late all the time, Paraguayans are so “tranquilo” (relaxed) they are never in a hurry for anything, which is great, but it tends to lead to them always being late.
haha how interesting! Maybe you’ll find, at least, that you’re more relaxed when/if you move back — sounds like a nice trade-off. 😉
I love their thoughts on gift-giving. I will have to incorporate that more into my life!
I know, right? That’s one of my favorites, too 🙂
Those are such good life lessons, and unexpected ones that no one would probably expect to learn from teaching abroad. It’s always wonderful when another culture teach you so much!
I totally agree, Rachel! 🙂
These are such amazing lessons! Thank you for sharing.
Glad you liked them, Shannon! 🙂
coming from the Philippines where white skin is seen as the epitome of beauty, I am lucky enough to be part of a wonderful family that is more concerned with inner beauty. In the Philippines we have a tradition called “pasalubong”, which translates to “(something) for when you welcome It’s the Filipino tradition of travelers bringing gifts from their destination to people back home. Sound familiar? 🙂
I love that your family is focused more on inner beauty — what a wonderful thing for a family to value. 🙂 And yes, I think that sounds familiar. Wonder why. 😉
That’s awesome Japan made such a positive influence in your life. I love Japan 🙂 I never knew about omiyage even though I always brought back snacks and treats for my colleagues and friends whenever I traveled. I guess maybe I was meant to be Japanese? haha
Thanks Hsiao-Ting! And yes, maybe you were! 🙂
i remember japanese people being so polite when we went! most of them did not speak english but when we needed help.. they tried their best to help us even though they couldn’t communicate. also, i can’t imagine having to compete with the japanese in gift giving haha. it just makes me think of monica from friends. you can never outdo them!!
I totally know what you mean! And I laughed about your Monica reference. SO accurate! haha!
Just wondering if you happened to read this article from The New Yorker (2013) about suicide rates in Japan? I was thinking about you when I read through it, wasn’t sure if this was something you had exposure to while in Japan?
http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2013/06/24/last-call-3
Interesting article, Natalie! I hadn’t read it, but have read and heard similar information from other sources, particularly in regards to hikikomori, the forest near Mt. Fuji, and the the lack of stigma regarding suicide in Japan. Personally, I didn’t encounter that a whole lot when I lived there, besides occasionally stopped or late trains due to suicides. I imagine it’s much worse than what I encountered, but I probably didn’t see into that side as much since I was a foreigner. Thank you for sharing that!
This is a great post! I particularly relate to #1 and #5. I lived in China and now live in Lithuania and have had similar experiences with generosity and with beauty ideals.
Glad you could relate, Elizabeth! 🙂
I think part of the reasons people in Southern California are always late is because almost everyone drives so you have nothing keeping you in check, when you have to take public transportation you become much more aware of the time.
Oh very good point, Bailie! You’re right — when I took the train, I had to be very conscious that if I was one minute late to my train, I’d have to wait for the next one and that would make me 10+ minutes late to work, so I always had to be on time. Nice observation!
I’ve been abroad in Dublin all summer and I have definitely learned a lot during my time here – not just about Irish culture, but also about myself, my priorities, my goals, etc. I find that conversation is extremely important in Ireland (moreso than in the States) – if you go into a pub, a cafe, or even just in the office…people are a lot more talkative. This can sometimes affect timing, so there really isn’t a strong emphasis on punctuality in Ireland. NOT how it is in the US. I find that at home, people are much more blunt and more about getting something done than forming a relationship. While I’m a fan of punctuality, I also have a new appreciation for just stopping to talk to people. You never know who you’re going to meet!
~ Samantha
samsamcherie.blogspot.com
Other things I’ve learned (Check it out!): http://samsamcherie.blogspot.ie/2014/07/thoughts-from-dublin.html
That’s so awesome, Samantha! I don’t think I’ve heard of many countries that are specifically focused on building relationships in that way. I love that! Makes me want to visit Ireland. 🙂
I have heard so many good things about Japan. I am an American expat living in Saudi Arabia and another expat who studied in Japan before they lived here told me so many amazing things. They said people are so kind and trusting and they have pretty much no crime. When you live there you have to take a class to learn basic Japanese right?
That’s great that they had so many positive things to say about Japan! And since I didn’t live in Japan as a student, I didn’t need to take any classes, but I did study Japanese online and conversed with people, which helped me learn the language.
I really love to read about how traveling or living in different country has changed the point of view of the person. I am currently living in London, I have been there for a month so far and I can feel how it has changed me as well. That’s an amazing aspect of traveling for me 🙂
http://travelingcookies.blogspot.co.uk/
I totally agree! Travel can open your eyes to some incredible things! 🙂
This is such a wonderful list of things to have learned!! I think number 5 hit me the most, but I adore all of them. (That man who helped you get to the bus stop – that’s amazing!) I had a communications professor in college who liked to assign large, open-ended topics for our persuasive speeches and I’ll never forget when he assigned “beauty” to a friend of mine. She really struggled with knowing what to say or talk about – it can be such a sensitive subject for some people – until she too recognized the cultural differences in how people process beauty. She ended up with a really great speech about how there is no one agreed upon definition for beauty so as a culture we should stop being so obsessed with whether or not we fit into a definition that doesn’t exist. It was earth-shattering for some people, and so good.
I got goose bumps just thinking about your friend’s speech! It sounds like such a wonderful topic — something more people would do well to consider.
Loved this post, Mel! I think it’s so interesting what we can learn from taking-in other cultures. I wish the healthy food way of life would spread to America– slowly but surely, more Americans are caring about what they’re putting into their bodies + I wish that politicians would make a change! Crazy that some of the foods we eat everyday here in the US are banned in 3rd world countries!
This post is really interesting, I find reading about other cultures so fascinating. Sounds like you had a real experience in Japan and learned some valuable lessons too 🙂
Lyndsay | Fizzy Peaches
Thanks Lyndsay! I’m glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
Sooo I loved this post, and I wrote one inspired by it!!! Thanks for the awesome read. http://alexswonderfuladventure.com/4-ways-swedish-culture-changed/
How awesome! Your post rocks, Patricia. 🙂
I love this post! I’m half-Japanese, and I visited Japan a year ago for 2 weeks- it was amazing! I love the things in the Japanese culture that you listed above. I always strive to represent the best qualities from Japan and the best qualities from America when I interact with people. Thanks for taking the time to write this post- I wish more people would reflect like this (:
That’s awesome, Mika! I love that you take the best of both cultures — that is seriously great. I think that’s part of why well-traveled people are some of the best — they see the good in different cultures and can make it their own.
Oh, when it comes to teaching English abroad I’m so jealous of native English speakers! 🙂
I’m living abroad at the moment, attending a grad school. I feel that I did it much older than I could’ve (I’m turning 26 this year), but, ummm, better late than never?! I’m so happy I did it and I’m trying to enjoy every minute of it, good and bad. I think I’m learning a lot (not only school related – actually, mostly not school related!) and I wouldn’t change this experience for anything. At least I feel much stronger than before, because you never really know what you’re capable of before actually having to do it. Deciphering subway lines in an unknown city in a language you barely speak? Consider me a pro 🙂
Wandering Polka Dot
Better late than never for sure!! I love that you feel stronger, too — you’re so right about not knowing your capabilities until you test them.
Adorable blog name, by the way 🙂
this was so lovely to read! I’m so glad I found your blog, will definitely read more about your time in Japan. especially loved reading about omiyage, what a thoughtful tradition.
Glad you liked this, Madalena! 🙂
Love your blog! I went to Japan many, many times as a model for about 6 weeks at a time and although I always felt like a foreigner, I just couldn’t get enough! There is something so intriguing about Japan, and the need to try to understand their culture, I’m still reading books to this day.You are right, the Japanese are far more courteous, going out of their way to show me the nearest 7-11, always offering gifts with a bow and yes you must be punctual! I was late one morning for a job and the next day my agent took me out shopping so that I could buy a proper alarm clock!
I’ll be sure to sign up for your newsletter.
My blog is beauty oriented ( as you can guess I am in the fashion industry)
http://www.blushandbeyond.com
Ahh Colleen, I love hearing about your experiences! They remind me so much of my own. And that story about your agent taking you out to buy an alarm clock is hilarious and so indicative of Japan! Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
Hi everyone! I always Love Japanese culture cause When she pregnant me, My Mom worked in a Japanese company. and that’s why I Always love things which are Japanese.
Aw that’s pretty cool, Zabir! 🙂
Thanks! ^_^
4. I’m more punctual!
That made me laugh but only because I learned the same lesson in Korea. I remember sprinting to the bus stop and the driver was just pulling away. Did he stop? Nope! He looked right at us and kept on driving. ha ha ah! I definitely learned to be on time.
hahaha you’ve gotta learn fast in Asia!
5. Because the Japanese aren’t racist when it comes to white skinned
people. It’s mostly the black/brown people who gets discriminated in
Japan for their skin.
I’m not sure if they’re too happy about the hafu white/asians either though.
Hey Melissa, I just discovered your amazing site – I have just launched my own travel blog based on my experiences living in Japan which I hope to take full time next year!
Twins! 😉
Best of luck and please keep me posted on your progress!
I’ve been learning more and more about the ‘sharing culture’ in Japan. My wife and I are about to jump over the pond here in a couple months to go to school in Fukuoka and we are really interested in seeing this culture in action for ourselves. I personally feel that I’ve adopted a generousness over the years after studying NLP. Either way though I’ve had family live in Japan for work before and they told me so many stories of people going out of their way… even one time my cousin left his wallet at an Izakaya and someone came all the way to his apartment many miles away to give it back to him. Of course still full of all the money that he had in there…. Never forgot that story about Japan when I was a kid. I couldn’t wrap my head around that being that over here in the States that would literally be an amazing feat, if someone even just dropped it off in the lost in found… but bringing it all the way back to someone… Wow.
But either way, I’m learning as much as I can before we start living in Japan (going to school for 2 years) – we also have a blog that were sharing this information on too: http://nihonscope.com if you’re interested 🙂 — my next post will be on omiyage and a bit about stuff like the generosity in Japan.
I love that story about your cousin’s wallet – it’s so true! Wishing you the best of luck in beautiful Japan and please keep me posted on your progress. 🙂
I moved to Japan in 2013 and have recently moved to Australia for good. Leaving Japan after living there for close to 4 years was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Japan leaves a very strong imprint on you, culturally as well as personally. Everyday is a struggle as I miss Japan so much, but I am embracing what we have for us in Australia now.
I was also an ALT just like you, it was so hectic at times but I enjoyed it so much! I started my blog Diary of a Cusp while in Japan, sharing all about our lives in Japan. It started more like a hobby to write and desire to share.
I am so glad to have found your blog a couple of months ago. It is really helping me in devoting my energy into a positive direction through blogging; although, I have a super long way to go.
xx Aditi
Thank you so much for sharing your story with me, Aditi! Japan is an amazing place and I’m so glad you were able to experience the magic as well. Best of luck in Australia and with your blog! 😀
So lovely to read this. I’ve been following your blog for a while and I had no idea that you lived in Japan, that is so fascinating. My husband and I are living nomadically and we’re currently out here in Kyoto since last month. So much has inspired us already and you’re absolutely right – it’s a transformational experience. I am just writing about it now and will be posting about it tomorrow… I stumbled upon your article as I was doing some research and it was such a positive surprise to see that you too are connected with that country through your experience there 🙂 <3
http://www.kinlake.com
Your trip sounds AMAZING, Linda! Wishing you safe travels, lots of growth, and a unforgettable time with your husband. 🙂
Thank you so much Melyssa!!!! We are so in love with the place. It has really inspired us so much for all aspects of our lives.
Oh by the way, the article I mentioned was published today. Have a look:
http://kinlake.com/5-things-inspire-us-japan/
xx
Linda
You said it right. I am living in Tokyo for 2 years now. Being here is like wearing a different pair of glasses. I have been ignoring a lot of things (even simple ones like greeting) before coming here. But now I am starting to realize the importance of those things (like punctuality as you mentioned). There is SO MUCH opportunity for personal growth. A lot of learnings that make me see life on a different light staying .
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I have so many fond memories of living in Japan 🙂 Enjoy the rest of your time in Tokyo!